Dreams for All

So it happened last night. You lay snuggled in my left arm zonkered and maybe it was the earth day

parade or Sting's wife, or us dancing as a family to, "message in a bottle," but my conscience was throbbing as a sea of students faces made my heart ache. I felt that abandonment feeling again; like I let all my students down when I stopped working and worse of all, I had terrible thoughts about their current challenges, what happened to students who were expelled or never returned to SEED again, etc.

I thought about our life together and felt so guilty as if we have too much goodness and wonderfulness. As if my life is too easy in the generous comforts of our laughter, soft bed to sleep on, couch, electricity, heat, fans, washing machines, cars, clothes, and lovey dovey moments. Is it wrong to enjoy life so much?!?!! Are we having too much fun??? Sharks that have existed before dinosaurs are being murdered to extinction along with dolphins and whales. And what are we doing? Drinking up the oxygen they provide us from the ocean food chain, choosing to eat the papaya, mango or both, playing in parks, seeing what new roses and flowers (clematis, columbine, tulips, azaleas, pansies, etc.) are bloom in the garden, and playing pets all day!

Not to say that I don't have the daily mothering challenges; my house is a mess, I struggle the balance of tending to you and trying to prepare organic eateries for your delight, I only shower when Bobby watches you and gives me a quick break, you sleep on me day and night so I never have "free time," I'm trying to budget and buy healthy food for us and our animal tribe, and I'm the designated pooper scooper of the house. I know. That's it? The cake life! Half the world is on the brink of disaster, alive one minute, hunted the next, sold into scandalous trade, starving, ill, and I'm choosing which organic avocado feels perfect to eat. Scheeeesh!

Bobby and I talk and the issues of the world and the greed of humanity leave him feeling powerless, depressed, and upset. I wish there were ten or more of me to do all the things I want to do! To tend to you and fill you with love and goodness from the inside out. To make sure that every student gets a quality education regardless of what income bracket they live. To save our oceans and the life in it. To let women and kids be women and kids and not slaves for sinful appetites or caught in the mines of Congo in the bloodiest war in history...oh bother! The gruesome atrocities you will soon learn about my little peach.

I feel ashamed that my advocacy work has dwindled down to monthly emails to Congress and Senate because I am too lazy to write, call, or give personal time. I long to do more.

I look at your expectant smiling face, your healthy body, your loving spirit, and I wish upon wish that every life could have safe places to roam, homes instead of streets-orphanages-cages-or worse, and I feel torn between my home and my world and the need to serve both and the balance to be able to do it. May Heaven help us to save the precious gifts of life and dream bigger-Dreams for all and work for them! I can't wait to hear the beautiful dreams of your heart. You are capable of anything!w