Park Ranger

A puff the chest up project

Note: hard workers wood chip face!

The other day, I went to yoga for the first time in over 8 months. It felt ridiculously self indulgent to spend an hour consumed with mindfulness of my breathe, my body, my emotions. My mind couldn't exactly because I kept thinking about leaving you crying your head off to Daddy while I held the front door ajar to see if you would stop crying and I should actually leave or run up the stairs and forfeit my turn at yoga. I drove away thinking, is this really worth it? Why be separated from you??!?! I kept wishing my phone wasn't broken so I could check and make sure you were alright. I think we are both having separation anxiety!

Daddy and I have debated my going back to work now that you are a thriving one year old. The conversation always ends the same with my workdoom face, Bobby's pleas, and you asking for focused attention. As we meditated in class, I realized the lesson we were striving for I have modeled by you daily; living in a state of constant joyful, bliss, in the present moment. You don't harbor any longings, fear, anger, or worry. You are radiant with life, not stress.

I was in awe of you when you were born. I had been taught that human nature was sinful and this was evident in the nature of babies. But, I could find nothing cruel, mean, jealous, or abhorrent in you. Nothing. You have always been pure love. I couldn't help noticing the changes in my body during class. For nine months I was so conscious of my physical state even during yoga you were swimming in my belly. Now you are here and I'm so thankful for the evolution of my body and the gift of having my very own piece of heaven to call my son. Then I did something I rarely ever have, I fell asleep on my yogi mat. A nice sound, my baby is my world and has everything to teach me blessed, 4 minute catnap before I raced home. I guess I really did need the yoga after all! May your Daddy and I be more like you and drink in this life with the blissful concentration of heaven filled thoughts and pure and present love.