Papa's Surprise Visit!

Shadden looked extra tiny in Papa's arms

Saying goodbye to Shadden on Papa's last night

Shadden LOVED being held by his Papa!  

He would smile and cuddle right up to him

Laughing at all of Shadden's funny faces!

My sweet boy!

Our reunion!  

The NICU nurse brought Shadden to my room for our first feeding!

Something I never expected to feel in this process of becoming a parent, was so much love from my parents, family, and friends.  It started off with kindness shown in the expectant waiting period when we all wondered exactly when Shadden would appear.  Getting three messages in a week from my Dad and having my mom stay with me for three weeks not wanting to leave because then it would "happen," and something about hearing my Dad say he was on, "pins and needles," waiting for news in Hawaii started it all.  Then after the birth I was shocked to hear a message from my Dad saying he was on his way to the airport and would arrive in the morning!  I obviously didn't have whatever it is you need to make any calls.  So I found out my mom called my Dad and explained to him what had happened.  My Dad said right when he got off the phone-he was at work-something inside him said, "go!" So, he called Geal and asked her to find him a flight for right then and he left for the airport that very afternoon!  

I was supposed to be resting but I woke up unable to sleep and asked the nurses if my Dad was outside.  He came in and opened up his bag of treats...snacks!  I was unable to eat or drink anything in case I had to go into an emergency surgery but I was so parched and wanted snacks so badly.  Everyone stayed with me until late in the evening when they wheeled Shadden in to see me and I got to nurse for the first time!  Then everyone (Nana, Uncle Ryan, Daddy, and Papa) left to go to dinner and my Dad and Bobby came back.  Bobby hung out for  while and fed Shadden one more time in the NICU since I wasn't allowed to go.  Dad gave Bobby his first night break in a week or so (time is hard to track in a hospital) and slept in a chair by my bed. 

Dad helped take me to feed Shadden every two-three hours pushing me in the wheelchair down to the NICU.  He was also on the food committee getting me noodles and doing whole foods runs for coconut milk, vita water, pineapple, strawberries, and all the works!   

I'll always remember how my Dad flew out to see me on a whim like that because it filled my heart up.  Then, he got to meet beautiful you and see our reunion which he said was the most touching part of the trip for him because he saw how in love we were in those first precious moments.  

It is a beautiful circle to have my heart expanded with a whole new love for my new child and get to be a child and feel loved by my own parents at the same time.  I think hell is myth because no parent could ever wish their baby something disastrous or tolerate a separation to occur and all I know is human love not even the rich love of a God for all creation.  I think hell is a human fear a false limitation we trap ourselves in our minds because God in everything and is everything as ultimate Creator makes it impossible to ever be separated from God and God's abundant ever flowing love.  I pray you feel and treasure that oneness.  I love you so much my angel!  It overwhelms my heart that I can feel so much emotion-only tears can understand it!  Everyday I pray you are covered in the grace of God's peace.  I imagine you sitting so content in your soul feeling the peace that surpasses all understanding.  This is my constant prayer for you.