Oh! Hello Home.

Park Dates with Hero

Eagerly poking his head between the front seats

Pounding out pizza dough on a floury tabletop, spreading sauce, and sprinkling cheese

On our way to the mall (D.C. mall-not shopping mall!), I heard a country song about a boy growing up falling in love with sports, and then a girl. Ouch! Then, as we played about a cute college boy walking with his family was smiling at you. His mother pointed at you and said, "that was you!" I guessed she was referring to your active wildman runs feeling sympathy that she had chased a wildcat half her life as well, when she said to me, "my son was just like that. he grew up playing around here." I took another look at him and almost started crying on the spot. He was a handsome, sweet looking boy, walking side by side with his mom-just like us-but he was...a man. uggh. Daddy just lost a patient to a family who had already lost a three year old son. eeeouw!

The weather will soon be changing and you have grown so much this summer you are busting through the clothes I just bought you this spring. I started folding your fall pants to put into your drawers. I remember buying them showing your Dad saying, "these are HUGE! He'll never fit these?!?!!" But, Lord willing you are. Words slip from your mouth as you tell me when you are ready to get out from the bath reaching out for your towel saying, "duuh duuh" meaning, "mom! my duck towel! stat!" I feel like I am always buying you new pajamas. But, here I am again, thinking oh! my goodness, I have to go buy pajamies. He's outgrown all of them and I have nothing for the fall or winter. Lord willing, I'll always have to say that. I pray, I may. That, my prayers will be how to care for you and not if I may.

Your Dad and I laid on opposite sides of you last night watching you sleep. We kissed your lips. Touched your cheeks. Held your hands. And snuggled up sandwiching you with so much love you woke up and curled into me and your Dad looked on jealous that I got the snuggle time he wanted.

I can't ever pretend to be some all together mom who has a life besides her children, because everyone who knows me knows all too well I am that mom whom the books tell you not to become. I am the mom whose baby is my world. I think of September and my students, and how I would normally be a swarm of creativity and stress right now trying to get everything together for my girls and I feel sort of sad that I am not there for them. I still feel torn and sometimes wish I could be one of those super together multi-tasker power women who can work, and be a mom, and do it all. But all I know how to do is pour my all into one thing which, thank you Heaven, right now is you. Amazingly, I feel you doing the same thing to me. I couldn't ask for more from life. I love you stardreamer.

Favorite Plays:

• Balls
• Driving anything!
• Playground (you go on everything-always have!)
• Bikes
• Tools
• Babies

Favorite Books:

• Lift the flap Farm
• Go! Dog! Go! (You can pronounce the entire title and ask for it!)
• Baby Colors
• Listen, Listen
• Toolbox
• Pat the Cat
• Baby Animals